husband, daughter, 2 dogs, pony, and 5 cats.
I am not a writer, nor am I a paid advocate. I am a parent who has been there and have
experience to share. My goal is to spread current information, treatment options, hope,
and ideas to other parents.
Once my child was diagnosed, I had to document my son's condition. Suddenly, I was
writing regularly, documenting Leo’s behaviors, writing little anecdotes and examples.
Every day, late at night, I'd rehash the day. So much was at stake. I had to turn myself
inside-out and get it right and get it all. The quality of the feedback from evaluators and
providers depended on it. I needed direction. I needed perfect goals, perfect
recommendations. I needed to know EXACTLY what was going on. The better job I did,
the better job they could do.
In my former life, I had a career in advertising, and had planned on building (ironically) a
second career in Physical Therapy (part-time) as a parent. Instead, I work hard every
day as a parent. My husband works very hard so I don’t have to “work”. My family and I
enjoy living the small town life - privacy, peace, finally. We enjoy organic vegetable
gardening and playing with the animals. I practice Ashtanga Yoga and love reality TV,
the more low brow the better.
Like a recovered alcoholic, my family will always bear the mark of Autism. The
disabling parts of this disability, not the unique person that he is due to his wiring. It
has changed us forever, bringing out the best and worst, and made us who we are
today.
Even though we are anonymous, I continue to help new parents in my community and
help others online. I will never turn my back to Autism. I am committed to these
children. After all, Leo is one of them.
Does this mean I hate Autism? Does this mean I am a cure-bie? That I despise the
countless thousands of children and people out there?
NO. What I can't stand is this: ASD kids not getting the right therapy and supports.
Autism is part of what made my son who he is. It is part of him, and I love him madly. I
do not want to change who he is, only help him. Chronic anxiety and living in chaos
were some of the byproducts of my son’s Autism. These obstacles to my son’s well-
being was what needed changing, not the essence of who he is.
Whether you're a LF, HF, Recover-ie, Cur-bie, anti-therapy, pro-ABA, anti-ABA, Mercury
Mom, or one of the many other factions out there - let's unite! We are all equal and
deserve to be heard and have our children be supported. We all have the same
struggles. And honestly, we only have each other.
The way Leo sees the world will never change due to the way he is wired. I now find
enjoyment in the way he can memorize people’s last names and birth dates. I laugh
when he makes a pattern out of eating his breakfast. A bite of egg, one bite of potatoes,
a bite of egg, one bite of potatoes. Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays he parts his
hair to the side. And hey, his interest in knowing what number each song is on the CDs
we listen to in the car comes in quite handy. His quirky interests and habits make him
who he is, and I love all of them. Trust me, it took a long time to get there. Acceptance
is key.
While our kids may function on different parts of the Autism spectrum, what unites us all
is the love we feel for them, and the deepest desire in every parent that their child can
enter to succeed in life. For those of us parents whose child may be progressing at a
quicker pace, and especially for those of us whose child has recovered, the journey
may seem easier to the outsider – even an ‘outsider’ within the Autism community – but
it’s not. Let that be an understanding that unites us, not divides us. We all need to be
supported.
I really like helping other parents, so feel free to ask me anything by email. It would be
an honor.
